5 signs that says your first date is going south

How to spot a botched spot first-HiFi Public

Ah, Love. That stomach-churning, heart-pounding, knee-buckling sensation you feel in the very core of your being whenever a pretty girl (or guy, or anyone because gender can be non-binary too and you shouldn’t be quick to impose predefined gender roles on any human being) comes up on your “people you may know.” And you immediately start wondering what you two could do together, achieve together if only she accepted your friend request.

Unfortunately, for most of us that is where the story ends- cause hot people tend to stick with hot people and make hot babies together (no matter how wrong that sounds, this is how it is) and someone like you (or me) often doesn’t stand a chance. But sometimes, that really lazy naked baby called Cupid tries to set two people up, and suddenly, miraculously, you end up with a date.

But that’s just the first step of the 1000 steps you have yet to climb. What if the love connection you feel is just your own desperate attempt to escape your loneliness and you’re simply projecting it on to others? How do you know whether this unbelievably gorgeous (to you) human being who decided to give your sorry soul a chance will stick around long enough to feel that connection too? How do you know if you’re going to have a second date?

Buckle up, people, because I am about to impart some wisdom. Here are 5 ways to know whether your first date is heading south.

1. They keep themselves away from you.

Invading somebody’s personal space might not be the best way to express your feelings, but if your date keeps jerking away from you at every little accidental touch, then he/she might not be the one for you. The opposite should be alarming too- if your date cannot keep his/her hand off of you, then you should be extra cautious because, well, the concept of consent doesn’t really exist in this part of the globe. People could get away with harassing you, and you will be the one to be blamed because who goes on dates without parental supervision?

2. Details, details, details.

Human beings are greatly controlled by the subconscious part of themselves. That’s why facial expressions and body-language gives away much more about your true feelings and intentions than you think. For example, a normal, right-handed person will usually look upward and right when trying to make up an answer, as opposed to looking left when they are trying to remember something that actually happened. So if your date is keeping their body faced in the opposite direction, or if their eyes keep darting to every pretty girl who walks by your table, they are probably just trying to distract themselves so that the time passes by quicker. Respect yourself. Don’t ask them out again.

3. Their phone holds more importance.

Of course, we are all socially connected and most of us are certainly addicted to it. However, if you’re at a nice place and trying to make a conversation while your companion absentmindedly nods at you while vigorously typing on his/her phone, chances are they hate you and they are planning to murder you and dispose of your body somewhere. And even if that was an exaggeration of how bad things can be, it sure is a clear sign that you should politely excuse yourself while you still have a shred of dignity left.

4. They check the time every 5 minutes

Do you know Einstein’s theory of relativity? Boring dates feel longer than they actually are, forcing people to check the time more than necessary. So if you’ve been together for an hour and your date stared at the clock the entire time you were together, then bad luck, brother. Move on.

5. There is no spark whatsoever.

Some people are just easy to be with. They are easy to talk to, the conversations are mind-boggling, and the chemistry is undeniable. Some people, on the other hand, ask the same “ki koro” until one of you dies. Awkward, heavy silences in a date are in no universe a good sign. And you probably shouldn’t pursue someone who doesn’t make your world 58 shades brighter, should you? You are a smart person. Use that pretty little head of yours. Be with someone who is a treat to your heart, not just the eyes.

So there you have it. Look out for the red flags. Save yourself from the landmines called “unfulfilling relationships” and “awkward breakups.” Find your one true love by rejecting a thousand other potential true loves and live happily ever after.


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