In countries like Bangladesh, marriage is not just a tie between two people, but one between two families. The entire process of getting married and staying married can be extremely tedious. On top of that, many of our parents continue to believe that a blind date with a stranger in a public restaurant is enough to decide whether you want to spend the rest of your life with them. The fact that the divorce rate has doubled and that the separation rate has tripled feels almost expected in these circumstances.
Even with such grim prospects, avoiding marriage all-together may not be the solution. So what are the other options? Delaying marriage by a little. Our take on this – don’t get married until you’re thirty. And here’s why.
Weddings are expensive
In our country, weddings feel like a competition of displaying extravagance and opulence. Are you sure you want to spend your father’s hard earned money on an event that will be criticized no matter what? If not, consider bearing the expenses yourself. And for that, you need time. So, our advice is you take your time. Budget, earn the money you think you want to spend and have the peace of mind – that your father didn’t face bankruptcy because you decided to have a lavish party on your way to starting a family. The first of many steps to earn and save enough is an education and a stable career. These are achievements themselves.
The responsibilities are less overwhelming
Major responsibilities come with starting a life with someone new. When you are 23, moving in with a new family and adjusting to their lifestyle is a gruelling task. In this misogynistic society, all the expectations are on the girl. The guy also faces the heat of taking on the responsibility for someone else as well. When you are slightly older, you can be more prepared and take mature decisions during this phase of abrupt change in your life. Embrace this new chapter of your life with proper enthusiasm.
More life experience, fewer mistakes
Have you heard the phrase “young and dumb”? That’s exactly what you are in your 20s. And we all know that only fools rush in, and it has the risk of ending in a messy situation. Waiting gives you time to reach a level of emotional stability necessary for such life-altering situations.
Making babies is a big motivation to get married. It is as simple as that. It is a basic human need to pass on your genes, repopulate the earth and so people have children after they are married. But when you are in your 20s, you are practically a child yourself. You don’t have nearly enough experience or understanding of the cruelty and complexity of the world out there. Bringing a life into this hellhole without knowing what you are doing will just result in yet another broken adult, roaming the earth because of bad parenting. Don’t be that person. Have patience, and work towards a better world fit for your future children.
By getting married, you’re tying yourself to the other person. Every plan you make, every vacation you want to take- you will have to take into consideration someone else’s wishes, plans, and schedule. And what if you can’t match your schedule? An inevitable compromise in your freedom comes out. So travel as much as you can and see as much you can before settling down.
No one is telling you to be a nun, my friend, nor are we telling you to choose a life filled with a series of relationships with no long-term commitment. Life can get hard and lonely; a partner to sit out the storm is a blessing. Growing old with someone you love doesn’t only happen in movies. But make sure you actually love them before taking such a huge step forward. And when you’re older, at the very least, you can say that it is your decision, and nobody else’s.
Best of luck. Please send me kacchi. You will get unconditional love from me in return.